Have you ever been around someone and think omg...I feel drained? and never thought it could be someone around you....it could be a work colleague, a partner, a friend, and/or possibly a child...yes...you’re not making it up and yes it is real!!!!
What is an energy Vampire - well as the name suggests these are people who feed on your energy, just like a vampire needs blood for survival, these are people who need your energy, basically they are people who — sometimes intentionally — drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed, which makes you feel like shiz!
Now the reason why I decided to write about this is because of a number of reasons, firstly this has become really apparent over the last few weeks when I have been offering my reiki sessions with clients they have been feeling overwhelmed and tired, not being able to pin point why they are feeling like this. Furthermore, wen working with this type of energy I must make sure I protect myself too, and for me this brings back memories before I started out my spiritual journey when I worked with young males. At the time I didn't realise that specific people could actually drain your soul! I know that sounds very dramatic, but that's the only way I can really explain...you may have some knowledge or have seen this been bandied about before, especially in the spiritual realms as its term is widely used.
In this blog, I'm going to my best to explain how to protect yourself and identify from those who have this toxic behaviour. All the comments and writing are my own personal opinion based on my own experiences and research that I have been doing through my shadow work and relationship psychology counselling.
How do you know if someone is an energy vampire - well that's the magick question....well from my own experiences they will come in different forms, some people may have had the experience of someone being in narcissist personality! you may have even heard me speaking about this a few times on the page! These are the types of people who seem so charming and amazing to everyone on the outside but when it comes to actual taking responsibility for anything - oh it’s not their fault, its someone else's because they are sooo sneaky and manipulative that you end up thinking it’s your fault. Over the years, I have had the pleasure of being exposed to energy vampires! believe me, it’s only now that I recognise the signs and I am able to see, sometimes I don’t always see it, until the aftermath, but it’s a lesson learned! And this is what I'm going to discuss in this blog and tell YOU exactly how to overcome with these VAMPIRES!
I remember when I was about 17 years old, and I was in a very very toxic relationship (this will also be in the book so don't worry the full story is there) - my first lesson, back then, I wasn't aware of what I know now, I didn't have any guidance or support like I do now, back in the 90's being psychic, doing reiki wasn't as cool as what it is now, it was more of a taboo - well in the small town I came from it was - it wasn't seen as something cool like it is now! Anyway - they always say your parents know best! lol...yeah they do, but I believe the only way someone can learn is by seeing it for themselves, which now being a parent is the hardest lesson, but I know there will come a day that I might be in a position like my parents and wish that D would listen to me! but because of what I do, I have taught her to be resilient and understand all the tools that I am going to be suggesting....so a wee bit of digressing there, but as you know that's nothing new - This person who I have forgave a long time ago, but let me be honest it took me years to get over the relationship was very much an ENERGY VAMPIRE, nothing was EVER HIS FAULT, He lost his job it wasn't his fault, he had affairs - but I made him do it! it wasn't his fault, does this sound like something that your dealing with now, this is an energy vampire! do they twist everything around and make you feel guilty or you take the blame? I lost the amount of times I made excuses and took the fall for HIS BEHAVIOUR! yeah we could all agree to some extent that this was domestic violence mixed in as well, as it was emotional and not physical, but I was drained, tired and had no energy.....thankfully I seen the light of day and one day walked out! never to return....but once away from that toxic relationship I felt motivated, got a new job working in a night club, made new friends - as the energy vampires and also narcissists don’t want you to have a life...they want to control you, they need your energy, they need the drama, they need that dependency - they thrive on being in a relationship - they love to intimidate....THEY NEED YOU TO BE FEELING WORTHLESS TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL BETTER!
Another example that some of you might relate to, especially in work, where you actually dread working with a person? I remember working for an organisation many years ago just after I qualified as being a social worker, it was a really demanding job, worked in a male dominated environment, there was me and another female worker, who left just after I started, but then luckily another female worker arrived. One of the young people I worked with - omg - it got to a point that I actually had the dread every time I heard their name, they were always playing the victim, everything was always everyone else fault - one day he actually said to me - "your my worker - you work for me - you get said to sort this out!" - that day was the last straw - I broke! I shouted back - which was really unprofessional of me, but I had a co-worker who was just as bad (he thought he was my boss, more on him in my book well a wee bit but I’m not going to give his ego the boost that it likes! - he egged on all the boys behaviours - and he saw me crying and told me I was in the wrong and that I shouldn't have spoken to the Young person the way I did - I agreed but I also stated that he shouldn't be speaking to staff like it was our fault that we can't find him accommodation and other things. I met with my manager and stated that I could not continue to be the young person’s worker anymore, he was draining, I was going home exhausted, emotional and stressed. This young person was consuming my time not only at work but also in my personal life, worrying that he was sleeping on the streets, when in fact he wasn't! it was established later...! Can you relate? is this happening just now? These are just 2 of the examples from my life, I have sooo much more to tell, but I think I will keep that or the book...but how do we avoid these people! EASY SOLUTION - WALK AWAY FROM THEM! Easier said than done! I know so these are just some of my solutions which might work, or might not, but at least it will give you an idea of how to maybe have a start....
BOUNDARIES - Energy vampires hate boundaries, they hate you having the control....this is what the feed off, just like vampires who need blood, they need that to thrive, just like an energy vampire needs energy....although, I can totally agree sometimes setting boundaries is difficult, especially if you have been a people pleaser, and can sometimes be afraid to speak up then this might help you set the boundaries - you know me and my writing lists, well in the past when I have felt someone has been an energy vampire I have created a list of at least 3 things that need boundaries in my life , so this could be an example of this could be listening to your body. I know when someone has been an energy vampire because afterwards I feel totally drained, tired and lack motivation, and this can last a few days, so now knowing that if I am in that persons company I can now be in control, so I distance myself from the person and I always make sure I have my crystals on me, specifically Clear Quartz, Tourmaline and Haematite, these are amazing crystals for negative energy. Going back to the list, this is an action on how you’re going to stop that person from draining you, remember you are in control and small steps, this will support you to build your confidence, sometimes it is saying No or just taking a break from the person if possible. The best advice or support I can provide is don't ever feel guilty for setting boundaries, this is called self-care and it about looking after your own emotional and wellbeing.
Excuses - now this might seem a bit like eh? yeah but Energy Vampires really don't like excuses, because they like being in control! This is because when excuses are made then the energy vampire is forced to go elsewhere or their emotional feed!
Stop giving them advice! yep, that's right- they are an askhole! they will keep asking and you will keep telling them, but they just want to be again, the victim, like poor me and feel that control, so if you stop giving the advice they look to others or what they need.
Lastly, you may need to CUT THEM OUT YOUR LIFE...I know this sounds extreme and it might not even be possible to do this, but I you can then you should. Once you do this, you will feel the energy change, you will feel so much lighter, you maybe won’t be as stressed, and you certainly won't be feeling like your being controlled!
This is just my tips on how to deal with the energy suckers! I will as I always say probably be doing more work around this next year in my academy doing lots of classes and groups working with this type of energy and how to overcome!
Thank you for reading as always.... I feel so blessed!
Rachelle xxx
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